I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
