I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
