i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
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My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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