Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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