I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
