I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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