like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I need a burrito and a hug.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
