Don't you send me to vm
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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