She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
