They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
