hell yes lets make some ravioli
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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