she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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