i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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