you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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