I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
