dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
