she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
