i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
