Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
