I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
