I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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