Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
