Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
