And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
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At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
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Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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