i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
