Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
