You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
