he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
