you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
