Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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