I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
