Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize
