He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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