I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
