Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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