Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Do vagina's smell?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm passing your future prison.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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