Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
