To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
