I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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