i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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