I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
What drink are we having for lunch?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
