like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
