Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
