I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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