she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
