Jerry, you need to find god
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
