as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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