When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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