I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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