it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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