he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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