I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize