You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
