the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
