when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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